Just Swing at Everything, Why Don’t You?

The 2023 Phils.

This whole team is sick with home run fever. And they’re all out of home runs.

I thought this was the year, Phillies. I really did. Bryce made me believe, and then he swung at pitches nineteen feet outside the zone. Kyle, Nick, and JT are infected with it too.

What does it mean when Bryson Stott is your smartest player, because he’s willing to take a single? What does it mean when you’re praying for Christian Pache or Jake Cave to pinch hit for Johan Rojas?

It means you’re sick. It means you are a sick, sick man. And it means the fuckin’ Diamondbacks are laying you to rest.

I feel like that guy who saw The Undertaker’s undefeated streak end at Wrestlemania 30. Just asking and wondering how and why.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *